I ride my bike to the office on Saturday to finish up some paperwork before my three day vacation in Tokyo. Being at the office on my vacation day is not exactly thrilling. Normally I would have walked here because it's a stone's throw away from my apartment, but I'm planning on making some more stops when I finished. This will tie in later on.
I realized earlier on today that my costly transaction to change some funds over from USD to Yen wouldn't go through until Thursday, after I returned home. This is because it's impossible to do any banking on the weekend or on national holidays in Japan; this Monday-Wed are national holidays. I called up my bank to cancel the transaction, but was told that even though I couldn't get my money because it would not be processed until Thursday, I couldn't cancel the transaction because it had already been processed. But I couldn't get my money. Because it wouldn't be processed until Thursday. Whatever Japan. So I I'll have to make due on a limited budget.
I pack up my Mac Mini and all my adapters so I can access the internet from my hotel room and hop on the bullet train heading for Tokyo ($100 one way).
I realize on the train that I didn't pack my phone charger. No problem—they sell little battery boosters everywhere in Japan. Wrong. Problem. There apparently isn't a single battery booster in all of Japan that fits my phone. Ok. I'll have to take it to a Softbank (my provider) retailer and use one of their super charger machines.
Arriving at the hotel, I immediately take a look at the tv to see if I can use it as a monitor. Jackpot—there's a VGA port right in the back. Uh-oh. I can't figure out how to use the Japanese remote to switch the input. So I call down and they send up a guy to help me. He kindly informs me that the tv had been partially disabled so that it can only be used to watch television. I don't ask why. I just thank him and start plotting.
Surely there is a way to make this work. A-ha! The cable box strapped to the back of the tv is feeding through unsecured RCA cables. All I need to do is find a mini DVI to video adapter. But first to Softbank.
My best friend at guest services informs me that there is one just outside the hotel. Unfortunately it will be closed until Thursday because of the holidays. Ok. Fine. Point me to an electronics shop.
This place looks promising. A Softbank and an Apple location right inside! Let's get this phone charged. The dude takes my phone and starts looking at the four different super charger machines. No dice, he gestures. Really? The place that sold me my phone can't charge it? Apparently I need the little adapter that came with my phone that for some reason is needed to use the charger that came with my phone. That, of course, is attached to my charger at home. So I ask the dude to sell me one. He says that I can only get it from the maker. I look down at the Softbank logo stamped on my phone, up to the Softbank logo hanging above his head, then down to reestablish eye contact. He didn't get it. (>_< )q Deep breath.... Ok. On to Apple.
Apple was my ally in my only victorious battle so far against Nippon by making even their iPods sold in Japan default to English. I can't find a mini DVI to video adapter, 30 bucks will get me a DVI to video adapter, which I can plug into my mini DVI to DVI adapter. HA HA, Japan, I got you this time! Don't underestimate me when it comes to making my computer work the way I want it to it all kinds of unconventional ways!
Now to try it out. You must be fucking joking me. The DVIs seem to have been changed slightly since I bought my computer and the adapters barely don't fit each other. At this point I'm totally dejected, but I'm still convinced that I can win this one by purchasing a new mini DVI to DVI adapter. But perhaps it's not worth wasting more time and money since Japan already has me on a tight budget. Alright, Nippon, you win again—as usual.
So here I am, completely cut of from the entire world—even my Japanese world.
Fast forward to the train station, departure time.
I just realized that I left my shopping bag full of gifts in the train station bathroom. It's been about an hour, but maybe it's still there. Nope. Somebody must have turned it in. Information says they have nothing and that I should check the lost and found at the security office. They don't have it either! This can only mean one thing—somebody found my bag and stole it! In Japan! Must have been a foreigner. Fuck!
I retrace my steps for about two hours, even though I know exactly where I left it. Let me check one more time at the station. Nope. Fine, take my $100 and get me out of this Nippon on steroids!
At least I took another vacation day tomorrow to recover from my repeated pwnage.
Fast forward to tomorrow.
My manager is at another school and the helper teacher that comes on Tuesdays doesn't have a key. I have to go in again on my vacation day to open up.
Fast forward to Monday.
Things are looking up! I have a cute girl in my apartment who just told me to relax while she cooks me a Japanese meal and by the way did I need a beer. No joke.
The meal is delicious, the beer is Budweiser.
Walking out the front gate, she asks me which bike is mine. Shit! I left it at GEOS. Let's stop by and get it. I run back inside my apartment to get my bike key. No key. I must have left it in my bike lock, which I do from time to time.
[Explanation: bikes in Japan all have little locks fixed to the frames that grab around the back tire making it immobile while locked. It's very convenient, but it takes such little thought that sometimes I forget to lock it back up and don't realize it.]
Well bend me over again. It's gone. This is unbelievable. I totally expected my chained up $50 bike to get stolen in Toledo, but I never expected my completely unsecured bike to get stolen in Japan. Like Max says, you can leave your luggage outside a busy airport in Japan with ¥10,000 ($100) bills sprinkled all over it and everything would be exactly the way you left it when you got back. Crime is just not like it is back home. Except when you're me.
Where am I supposed to find another one-speed bicycle with a bent basket and a pink bell? Not an easy question to answer, is it?
Such is my life in Japan.
Enjoy this likely unrelated quote:
“If there was a god, I’d still have both nuts.”
—Lance Armstrong
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stacie
Said
wow. i feel terrible. i truly do. like real empathy here. i had no idea. i spoke to you since your trip and i had no idea. i wish there was something i could do. at least you had cute japanese girl. by the way, was it yayoi? chieko? i hope things start to look up, bro.